psyche-reincarnate

All My Love For You

2012-01-29T00:44:00.000Z

All my love for you;
The passion, fire,
Urge, anger.
All the desire
Red-hot, amber.

And the facade,
Bravado, laughter,
Dissimulation,
The mask, masquerade,
The pretension.

And then the pain;
Stiff, silent, stilted,
Automated, dazed,
Agitated. The look
Veiled, hunger emaciated.

The Place

2012-01-29T00:41:00.000Z

The place we conjure up this dread from
The place every thing we fear comes from
The place that stores our longings
The place marked for our covetousness
That place went missing this morning
Perhaps crept away in the dull of the night
The bed unslept, the sheet still smooth
A hollow deep pit just under the heart
The shape of things to come undone
The door that memory held unhinged

October 2011

Knot Making

2012-01-29T00:39:00.000Z

How we excel in making knots
Elaborately perfected over time
Intricate, simple, handy, pretty
Arbor, bow, celtic, granny

Knots in the heart, knots in mind
Knots in religion, knots in clime
Knots that divide, knots that bite
Entangle, warp, wrench, writhe

Wrap the eyes, keep desire trapped
Grab the feet, keep hope snagged
Contort the mind, mangle the heart
Anaesthetized, asphyxiated, obliviate

October 2011

Khizaa'n

2012-01-29T00:37:00.000Z

Khizaa'n mein milna
Khizaa'n ka milna
Rangg uttar rahe hain
Chammak dhal rahi hai

Raatein hochukein gehri
Hararat hochuki thandi
Dhalti kirnon ki manind
Hui dhadhkanien halki

Parende udd chuke shehr se
Saaye hochuke lambe
Utri hawa kuch sard sard
Pattay bhehke phir zard zard

Ghat'ti saansein, badh'ti umrain
Daraaz saa'e, dhundlati yaadein
Dono'n haathon mein khwahish thaame
Aaj dono'n haathon se jaam pilain.

October 2011

The Wheel Of Fortune

2012-01-29T00:33:00.003Z

The wheel of fortune moves; and, inversely moved,
Crushes out: all sense, all thought, all feeling.
Like an oil press, separating, decanting, severing,
It moves on: nor all your yearning, craving, longing,
Nor your wish, your hope, your desire,
Shall rescind, revert, revive or resurrect.

October 2011

(In the vein and totally inspired by Omar Khayyam)

Poesy

2012-01-29T00:32:00.000Z

This whimsy that poesy is releasing is bleh.
It can leave you all tangled, choked up, disgruntled.
This notion that poesy is cathartic is blergh.
It can bind you in layers, ones you cant rip through.
This faith that poesy is enlightening is blegh.
It can leave you more befuddled, angsty, in the dark.
This belief that poesy is your mistress is blah.
It holds you by the leash; you perform on demand.

October 2011

To spring back to life

2012-01-29T00:29:00.001Z

Extract a vein from one place
A nerve from another
Lock and attach
Borrow a joint
Hinge sense to senselessness

Compress, pump, exhale
Delay the inevitable
Get the pulse thumping
Gasp, sputter, accelerate
As the DNR sign falls to the side

September 2011

Lust

2012-01-29T00:27:00.000Z

A lust for words, a lust for dandelions
For open valleys and a loft studio
A lust for quiet, a lust for thunder
A lust for life and for obliteration too
A lust to revamp, a lust to re-invent,
To be foam-arisen!
And the lust to auger away
To hold my core, pristine.

August 2011

Tonight ( A haiku)

2012-01-29T00:25:00.000Z

The moon is wearing kohl tonight

A cloud gropes my face

I lie eclipsed

July 2011

Kahe Darya

2012-01-29T00:23:00.000Z

Kahe darya tujhe iss paar
Jaana hai mujhe uss paar
Ruko na mujhe, toko na mujhe
Na chaido gham, na kuraido zakham

Hai samandar mera duur paar
Safar khaardaar, faasla behadd paichdaar
Aur meri umeed ab bhi wahi, samandar ki duuri wahi
Naseeb mera doobna wahi, samandar ki sardmohri wahi

July 2011

The Witching Hour

2011-07-05T08:09:00.002+01:00

Quietly falls the night somewhere
Somewhere a morning loses its way
As footsteps grow distant slowly
And shadows leave for corners moons away

The wishing well has regurgitated its pennies
The mirror stands tall with a gash
The wishing bone has remained unbroken
The clover grows four leaves no more

The hearth is cold with the fire gone
The creaking door, stilled with silence
While sand has lain with the footmarks
And on the clock its witching hour forevermore

Nevertheless

2011-07-05T08:07:00.004+01:00

The morbid me
Reckless, hopeless
The hopeless me
Clueless, restless
The restless me
In duress, baseless
The baseless me
Affectless, faceless
The faceless me
Nevertheless, limitless

June 2011

Aankh Zaar Zaar

2011-06-05T12:51:00.002+01:00

Dasht'e tanhai aur aye jaane jahan
Hangama aarai bhi aur mehfil'e khubaan
Khumaar beqaraar, hasti bekhudd
Madhosh dhadhkan, haal behaal besudh
Gham'e doraan yahan, gham'e jaanan
Yahan gham'e hasti, gham'e dahar yahan
Jaam pe jaam uthein phir bohot
Aankh zaar zaar lutay behadd

May 2011

My Love Letters

2011-05-29T16:42:00.001+01:00

The wind whispers, it smiles
In your ears and exhales
Its caress, the gentleness
Washing down your back.
The rain moulds itself
To you. It sings, consoles.
As your pores sing back.
The snow, the snow clings.
It lingers, quietly waiting
For your footmarks to cleave onto.
And the moon brings the dark
To look at you as it waits to join you
On the cool side of your pillow.
My love letters, from the wind
And the rain, the snow and moon.
My play mates, my soul mates
My shadow and my light.

(Written in Ikkyu's company.......

Every day, priests minutely examine the Law
And endlessly chant complicated sutras.
Before doing that, though, they should learn
How to read the love letters sent by the wind
and rain, the snow and moon.)

So The Story Goes

2011-05-29T16:40:00.000+01:00

There may be the sound of a thousand songs
Colours of infinite rainbows around
The comfort of a hundred eiderdowns
The luxury of endless lace gowns

But if love be gone from filled up spaces
If the caress is warm no more
The song is mute, the colour blind
The comforter cold, the lace dull

Hold not what rents on touch
Choke not what breathes on air
Mark not its spotlessness
Trim not its exuberance

If doubt be there, love walks
If the heart stumbles, love walks
If you know me not, love walks
If you release it not, love walks

Dance close but hold not tight
Stay beside but clutch not tight
Read the unread just meant for you
Hear the unsaid just said for you

Let it move, let it sway, let it live
Beyond time, for it asks not for time
Beyond space for it asks not for a place
Let it breathe for it asks not to bind

Not caged, chained, trapped, set it free!
Not blinded, scorched, scarred, set it free.
It is yours all the more if it sings high
It is yours all the more if it glows

The Tease

2011-05-29T16:37:00.002+01:00

Ripe out of fate's sharing box, like clockwork
You get a piece of bad news a year
Sometimes you may get two
Like a tease, the One above meticulously
Dishes out pain intense, satiated
You can take no more; till next year.

April 2011

For I Know Me

2011-05-29T16:36:00.000+01:00

I lose myself in moments of joy
I return in times of sorrow
I close not the door to grief
Or tribulation; for I know me
From the heat of my tears.
I know me through my heartbreak.

April 2011

When all I crave

2011-05-29T16:34:00.000+01:00

Oh to have the full moon on my palm
Some rarefied polished amber, a secluded coral sanctuary
And the flower that blooms every three thousand years
Or a butterfly cove, a ride on fluffed clouds

The Fabergé egg, or an Aztec coin
Or a Raphael tapestry, a Mauryan map
Perhaps The handwritten copy of Henry viii's Green Sleeves
And the Babylonian clay tablet, the first map of the world

But how can I ask, how can I want and crave
When all I crave, all I crave is to talk to your eyes
Feel the caress of your smile and wait for the moment
When you turn around to look and inhale my soul

April 2011

Baatein hain sab baatein hain

2011-05-29T16:33:00.000+01:00

Baatein hain sab baatein hain
Bas baatein khaali baatien hain
Ghannchakkar hai, iztiraab hai
Bhanwar, raige-rawaan, girdaab hai

Aur duur falak ke paar moalaq
Aik aas, ehsaas, intizaar hai
Khwabeeda palkon mein uljha sapna,
Jaagte din mein idraak hai

April 2011

She ought to smell

2011-04-16T09:47:00.000+01:00

She ought to smell like angels do
Like a snowflake on a rose
Sun warm sea-spray on bare skin
An earthy fruit-laden vineyard
Sandalwood on fire

She smells like a lost embrace
Crushed moss on a patio stone
Dead flowers, day after the wedding
She smells like broken laughter
And of love never heard of

Attakk gayi hoon

2011-04-16T09:46:00.000+01:00

Attakk gayi hoon
Ilfaz aur izhaar ke beech
Phanns gayi hoon
Soch aur bayan ke beech
Ik phaans hai
Ik jaal hai
Girdaab hai
Meray aur sab ke beech

No, I do not miss

2011-04-16T09:45:00.000+01:00

No, I do not miss the people gone
I carry on, dont I.
Just the heart has some chambers missing
And the head has gone awol
The trunk lost a few rather very many branches
And a few dents, scratches showed up on the hull
The dazzle that was here, and the song
Gone too as the darkness came and the dull
The wind it wails, as it comes and goes
Thinking it is filling a void
The rain it falls, as it slips and holds
Thinking it can hole in
And I am here holding court
Perfecting the art of living

Faani

2011-04-16T09:43:00.000+01:00

Chuhdd muhdd kaghaz ke pannay
Phaink chuki thi mein
Dhajji kapde, dhundli tasveerien
Gharq kar aaee thi mein
Maan liya tha, mein kuch bhi nahi

Mitta par phir na mitta
Suragh apna, apna ehsaas
Shinakth apni, apni zaat
Hoon faani yeh gumaan
Maan aayee thi main

Ab Dard Akela Nahi

2011-04-16T09:41:00.000+01:00

Ab dard akela nahi

Tanhai nahi, siyyahi nahi

Aik duniya hai sangg

Aik tamasha hain hum

Ab mehfil hai, rangeeni hai

Ab dard akela nahi

Yeh Waqt Bhi Guzar Jaega

2011-03-29T09:14:00.000+01:00

Yeh waqt bhi guzar jaega
Mausam bhi badal jaega
Socha tha kabhi aisa bhi
Sochte hain abhi aise hi
Rang roop nikhar jaega
Boodobaash mehek jaegi
Maana tha kabhi aisa bhi
Maana hai abhi aise hi
Sakoone dil, asoodgi'e jan
Karm'o ilfaat, chaen, aaraam
Yeh raah dekh legi
Aata hai khayal kabhi yeh bhi

You Want A Book?

2011-03-28T23:25:00.001+01:00

You want a book?
You want a book on Psychology
One on Theology, Philosophy
Literature, Archaeology perhaps?

A discourse on the mind
Human spirit, faith, creativity
Existentialism, History
Quite a rainbow in kind

See that man, see that pain?
The demons he keeps at bay
Hounded by misgivings
The terrors he flays

And that woman who waits
Like patience through seasons
Endless, monotonous tempers
With courage straight-spined

The child whose questions make you afraid
With an openness that fells you apart
Along with your identity, reason, intellect
The letters after your name

Look around you, look at them, take your pick
Spoilt for choice, the sea around you
Inhale the smell, feel the paper
Your well-bound, complete works of life

All In One Day

2011-03-28T23:21:00.000+01:00

Many moments, many shades, many moods
A serene, light-hearted, calm-radiating sunrise
An instant dip and then, the dark descending cloud
And despair; hard, wet, frozen

Hope kindling like the bright midday sun
Suddenly effusive, suddenly effervescent
Hope dashing low like thunder gust
Suddenly drenched, sodden, deluged

Reproofs raining while day goes to dusk
Defiance glowing in golden streaks
And disconsolation knitting the heart
As darkness descends low

The night now beckons, soft like hope.
Looking for my pillow, my malleable port
The comfort of the intimate dip in my bed
My solacium payment, my consolation prize

Woh jo.....

2011-03-28T23:17:00.000+01:00

Woh jo sunn lete hain aahat meri
Dabbe paaon aati dhadhkan bhi
Woh jo choo lete hain soch meri
Lipti khwahish, simti nigah meri

Nahi bandish, tera khayal jo ho
Nahi intiha, tera saath jo ho
Na kinara koi, na hadd na simat
Na anjaam, ikhtitaam, teri baat jo ho

Jo roz guzarta hai

2011-03-05T14:39:00.002Z

Puraane darwaaze ka kiwaad
Adh khula dekh kar aik jhonka
Kuch dhool udda gaya
Unn aankhon mein
Jo aagey hi khusk hochuki hain
Aur khuli khirki ke jharoke se lipti hawa
Pehle se bikhri zulfon ko
Kuch aur uljha gayee
Khaali aankhein, bikhre gaisoo
Khushk hont, saakit nigah
Aur intizaar jo roz guzarta hai
Puraane darwaaze ke udd khule kiwaadon se
Aur intizaar jo roz milta hai
Khuli khirki ke toote jharokon se

My barefoot need

2011-03-05T10:39:00.000Z

My barefoot need
And my coated want
Intermingle
Play hide and seek
While my hooded eyes
And my naked smile
Communicate in Morse code

(Mar 2011)

Collateral damage

2011-03-05T10:37:00.000Z

Little boy, fat man dropped, mushroom clouds
A war won, cities of death, collateral damage
Successful deals, firm handshakes, Swiss bank accounts
Oil boom, ozone depletion, collateral damage
Big smiles, flashing cameras, bombastic speeches
Divided borders, families lost, collateral damage
Chinese whispers, sectarian clashes, blood overflow
Political clout, broken society, collateral damage
Karo kari, honour killing, Haq bakhshish
Love less, child less, collateral damage
Stove burst, acid attack, Vani
Male pride, female humility, collateral damage
Sweet words, honeyed eyes, defection
Deception, destroyed faith, collateral damage
Words of love, promises, affirmation
Lost honour, broken heart, collateral damage

(Feb 2011)

Aik taar

2011-03-05T10:35:00.000Z

Aik taar dikkha tau hai yahan
Thoda uljha, thoda simta
Kuch baikal, kuch dabbka sa
Dekho tau phisal, jhijak jaye
Chuo tau lippat, simmat jaye
Halka, maheen, kirnon jaisa
Shafaaf, mulayam hawaoon jaisa
Narm, garam muskurahaton sa
Hai par kuch zabt lohe jaisi
Aatish ki tapish, chamak sholey si
Hai par kuch saddiyon ki kashish
Pehchaan barson ki
Unsiiyat lambi umron si
Apna se milan, wasal janmon sa
Dhadhkan manoos, saans hamraaz si
Keh hai aik taar, aik taar hai tau yahin

(Feb 2011)

Death...still

2011-03-05T10:34:00.000Z

There is the sudden death
Under fire, under siege
Shrieks, gunshots
Running footsteps
Gashes and wounds
Then there is the ongoing death
Constant, lingering
Slow, forever
Day after day
Time after time
For you, for me
For all of ours and more

(Feb 2011)

The Reprieve

2011-03-05T10:32:00.000Z

Sing me a lullaby, steal me a dream
Build me a fantasy with tinsel and glittery seams
There is plenty to say, plenty to declare
Pronounce, utter, declaim
Announce, shout and refrain
No I'm not asking for promises
I'm not asking for a bond
But a reprieve that holds off the chainsaws
The serrating blades, the gut-wrenching screams
So shower me with sparklers and the bright twinklers
The shimmer, the confetti, the neon prismatic centrepieces
The garlands, party poppers, some icing, some champagne
Mind-numbing music, heart-stopping strain
Notes breathing sadness, as a banshee sighs at the end of a keen

(Feb 2011)

For you are the vein

2011-03-05T10:30:00.000Z

What's said is yours
What's unsaid is also yours
When have I ever needed to
Speak or not speak
Reveal or conceal
Whisper or shout with zeal
For you are the word,
The meaning, the syntax
The echo, the refrain
The rhyme, the quatrain
For you are the vein
All that of me remains

(Jan 2011)

Pal pal

2011-03-05T10:29:00.000Z

Pal pal har pal behta hai rait ki manind
Pal pal duur jaise jaate ho tum
Pal pal har pal silti hai ruuh
Dhadhkan main phir se aa liptay ho tum
Rookhi khushk lakeeron mein basste basste
Jaane kab aankh ke geelepan mein uttar aaye ho tum

Aur pal ab tau kabhi wehshat ban kar
Dekhte hain tamasha jaise ho tum
Odh ke niqaab bebasi ka
Raag majboori ka alaapte ho tum
Ghadiyon mein holey holey beet jaane ka
Andaz tau khoob jaante ho tum

(Jan 2011)

The pool and the waterfall

2011-03-05T10:25:00.000Z

Limpid, lush and languid
A verdant pond under a green canopy
Robed in long swaying fronds, carrying
Tiny ripples that ruffle its serene brow
Hiding the depth, the turbulence, the heart
The storms, the heat, the fire, the ever watchful Eye.

And the waterfall
Majestic, masculine, magnificent
Its quiet strength falling far, far away
With a steady, rhythmic, mellifluous beat.
Falling onto cold, unforgiving, unresponsive stones
Draping them with its power, its essence, its being, its pure soul

The pond waits while the waterfall falls away.
Waits for the waterfall's long, overdue change of course
The pond sees the waterfall's spray in the air far away
The pond feels the waterfall's touch on unmovable rocks
The pond listens to the waterfalls heartbeat being carried away
It knows the waterfall's combustible, constant, haunting disquiet

The course will not change, the waiting will go on
Drawn as they are in parallel lines
Dance as they do in different spheres
Names writ in water, living on different sides of the border
Like chalk and cheese or is it like oil and water?
Only yet too well fused, intertwined, connected!

(Nov 2010)

Our eternity

2011-03-05T10:24:00.000Z

You step away
I expand to hold you
You edge closer
I wound up tight inside
Moving in circles
Moving in dreams
Moving in and out
In our eternity

(Oct 2010)

Tumhara kuch bhi kho nahi sakta

2011-03-05T10:22:00.000Z

Tumhara kuch bhi kho nahi sakta
Kaaghaz pe likhe lafz mitaate hain
Tau hawa mein tehleel milte hain
Labon mein baatein dabaate hain
Tau dhadhkanon mein jazb milti hain

Aansuon ko jo ponchte hain
Tau ruuh geeli milti hai
Nazar chura ke jaate hain
Tau khwabon mein bassi milti hai
Tumhara kuch bhi kho nahi sakta

Yaadein jo ukhaadhna chahain gay
Khwahishon mein bas jaoge tum
Aahatein jo na sun'na chahein gay
Haath thaam loge tum
Tumhara kuch bhi kho nahi sakta

(Oct 2010)

I see you

2011-03-05T10:16:00.000Z

I follow the stardust trail left behind
Coursing through tears
Hanging on smiles
Jumping through memories
Walking on lashes
Landing on dreams
I find you
I see you

(Sep 2010)

Naamm Tera

2011-03-05T10:14:00.000Z

Bandd mutthi mein rett ke zarray
Mutthi kholo tau ab bhi bolte hain naam tera
Phailao tau banate hain naam tera
Beh jain tau pukarte hain naam tera

Jo aankh mein padein tau dekh lete hain
Aansuon mein dooba naam tera
Chubhte hain leke naam tera
Behte hain tau leke naam tera

Kabhi phir se bana baithoon jo gharonda
Leher laijaati hai padh ke naam tera
Kehti hai haqq hai uspe jo hai naam tera
Meri aankhon se jo bahi thi woh leke naam tera

(Sep 2010)

To All Intents And Purposes

2011-03-05T10:13:00.000Z

You left that patch of light
On a piece of earth for me
As my food, as my heart
My being, my existence
And you took all of me
My heart, life, soul
For you to keep going on

How did that help you? It didn't.
I still live, I still love
With my arms spread out
With my heart enclosing all
And I see you coming back
To take more and more
More and more of me

There is more of me still
The heart that lives on
Seemingly without a beat
The soul that carries on
Presumably without light
I keep going on
To all intents and purposes

(Sep 2010)

Garr jhijhko tau

2011-03-05T10:09:00.000Z

Udh'de dhaagon se libas, too'te deep se roshni nahi nikalti
Toote phoolon se maala, phatte pannon se kitaab nahi banti

Aadhe lafzon se baat, band aankhon se nazar nahi milti
Khushk honton se muskurahat, khamosh dil se dhadhkan nahi bann'ti

Doobe saye se dhoop nahi hat'ti, ruke kadmon mein saath nahi hota
Ruuh jab dil ka saath na de tau, dil mein jaan kab, kahan hai hoti

Na ho hasrat tau koi yaas, intizaar nahi hota
Garr jhijhko tau pyaar, dil mein chahh nahi hoti

(Aug 2010)

Depression

2010-08-05T23:12:00.002+01:00

I see the physical you
amongst shadows
in between shades
incorporeal, unearthly
ominous, definite

I see you move
I see you alive
I see you breathe
I see you smile
I see you taking over

Your face haunting every road
your presence marking every corner
walking step in step
sitting next to me
holding me, sleeping with me

Dark as the night
as dense as fog
heavy as cloying heat
so familiar, yet a stranger
asphyxiating, guaranteed

Safe

2010-08-05T23:12:00.001+01:00

A cabaret, feathers, silks, furs, tutus
A dropped silk, an open smirk, smiles, gazes
A dropped feather, a contemptuous look

A masquerade ball, masks, veils,cloaks, plumes
A dropped hint, a cutting comment, glances, moves
A revealing glance, a scornful laugh

Family dinners, friends gathering, getting-together
Ritualistic love, hugs, kisses in the air
Banter and conversation, loud laughter
Cold eyes, colder still hands

Skins, layers, films, sheaths
Fences, walls, ramparts, bulwarks
Strengthened, fortified, defended,
Bastioned, barricaded, safe.

Nahi chahiye

2010-08-05T23:11:00.001+01:00

Nahi chahiye, nahi chahiye ab ki baar
Woh sukoot, woh sannata, wahi toot phoot
Kirchchi kirchchi udhadhti rooh, raiza raiza wajood

Nahi chahiye, nahi chahiye ab ki baar
Woh barsaat, woh jhadhi, wahi rimjhim
Bin lahoo ke jism, bin saans ke rooh

Nahi chahiye, nahi chahiye ab ki baar
Woh girya o'zaari, woh siski, wahi bemaigi
Rooh cheekhti, jaan bilakkti hui

Nahi chahiye, nahi chahiye, bohot hua
Bohot hua imtihaan, ziyaye waqt, sab raigaan
Bohot hua, ab bohot hua, aur nahi chahiye

Ready to walk again

2010-08-05T23:10:00.001+01:00

A scream breaks up and dies inside
Shivers tremble, slither, slide down
Tears collide with the speed of lightening
Eyes shut tight, oblivious to light, colour, life
Yet my heart stands up tall
Straightens its dress, brushes the dust off
Ready to walk again

It registers a knock then a flurry of fists
The ground gives way to a wingless flight
Speechless, sightless, soundless
Too late for death, for release, to exhale
Yet my heart stands up tall
Straightens its dress, brushes the dust off
Ready to walk again

Loadshedding

2010-05-16T09:52:00.000+01:00

Din hota hai raat hoti hai
aap se kyun na mulaqat hoti hai
Dhoondte hain kabhi yahan kabhi wahan tak bhi
par na justaju tamam hoti hai

Tamasha dekhti hai zindagi behisi, lachari ka
uunche banglon mein jalte jhoomeron
doobi jhonpadi pe andheri raaton ka
Uthete qehqahon, doobti aahon ka

Aadat daal li bachon ne raasta tatolne ki
Andhere mein zindagi tolne, jeene ki
Kabhi paseene mein doobi kitabein thame hain
kahin khilone andhere mein khoye hain

Ahista ahista dolti, kirahti, sisakti zindagi
ruukhi, pheeki, tadapti, kasakti zindagi
Aisa tau nahi keh chaha chaand ya taaron ko
Maanga tau bas apna noore ashiane hai

Apna Lamha (2) ................ In continuum from the earlier poem 'Apna Lamha'

2010-05-01T23:15:00.000+01:00

Kabhi kuch phoot'te hain roop se
Rang o boo, kuch roshni, chah se
Keh hai seep se koi chalka
Koi dhalka kirnon se
Kabhi phool se hai tapka

Kabhi kuch phoot'te hain dard o nai se
Andheri raat, sooni rehguzar se
Keh hai aankh se koi tapka
Koi gira tanhai ki od se
Kabhi unkahi se hai guzra

Tumhare naam hain yeh sab hi
Hamare pyaam hain yeh sab hi
Jo hai, hai tau apna hi
Jaisa ha, hota tau hai apna hi
Jo hai tau saath hai apne hai

Apna lamha

2010-05-01T23:14:00.000+01:00

Aik oas mein piroya, aik chandni se tapka
Aik gira madham madham raat ke pehloo sa
Aik lipta dhoop se, aik chimta kirnon se
Aik chala holay holay dopeheron sa

Aik aaya khushbu jaisa, aik bana roop jaisa
Aik chaya dheema dheema sargam sa
Aik duuba barishon mein, aik phaila rom rom se
Aik bassa madhur madhur saanson sa

Aik tumhare saath jaisa, aik hamari baat jaisa
Aik dadhkanon ke beech lambi umron sa
Aik mein tau tum bhi ho, aik mein tau hum bhi hain
Aik bana puura apna hum jaisa

And I am

2010-05-01T23:12:00.000+01:00

I am not one, I am one of many
The flaring eyed gypsy you see whirl past
Who breathes out fire instead of words
The ingénue you see glide down
Who sears with innocence in her smile
The out of reach bird you see fly above
Who is yet tied to roots underneath the earth
The as old as time phoenix you see levitate high
who rises imperceptibly, soundlessly, always

I am not one, I am one of many
No you would not know me
No you cannot see me
No you cannot be me
For I am not one, I am one of many

I am not one, I am one of many
The broken doll you do not see fall by,
For she doesn't need to be fixed
The wizened soul you do not see sitting by,
For she doesn't need to speak
The dancer you do not see limp by
For she doesn't need unbroken heels
The hierophant you do not see walk by
For she doesn't need to be seen

I am not one, I am one of many
No you would not know me
No you cannot see me
No you cannot be me
For I am not one, I am one of many

Liye jaati hai

2010-05-01T23:11:00.000+01:00

Liye jaati hai bekhabri, jidhar khabar ki khabar mili hai
Liye jaati hai andheri jidhar roshni ki jhalak mili hai

Hairat nahi, sawal nahi, kashmakash, kaawish bhi nahi
Uthete hain kadam aap jidhar bulawe ki aahat mili hai

Nasha hai aik jo bas bekhudi se aye
Maza hai aik jo bas bemazgi se aye

Na darro- dewaar ki rukawat, na zameen o aasman si haalat
Duube bas ab aise ke pairon taley bhi kuch nahi hai

Suno

2010-05-01T23:09:00.000+01:00

Halki si hai yeh baat
Lapait lo
Dheemi, dheemi, dhundli, dhundli
Lapait lo
Lapait lo tun se, mun se, jaan o dil se
Lapait lo
Ke safar karegi tum sung
Lapait lo
Ke hoga safar lamba, shayed ho khatar-e uftad
Lapait lo
Bhikar na paye intiha'i safar se pehle
Lapait lo
Kahin gir na paye beech safar mein
Lapait lo
Aik aas hai yeh meri
Lapait lo
Aik hi hai jaan, aik hi maan
Lapait lo
Sambhaal ke lejao, jo hai sab mera
Lapait lo
Sambhaal ke lejao, jahan hai sab mera
Lapait lo
Chahe halki si hi hai yeh meri baat
Lapait lo

INSPIRED BY:

If one desires a wish to come true, they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it.

Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly cannot reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all.

In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit shall grant the wish.

Native American Legend

Kuch tau chahiye

2010-05-01T23:08:00.000+01:00

Kuch tau chahiye is raakh mein harkat keh liye
Kuch tau chahiye is raakh mein hararat keh liye

Kuch tau chahiye is raakh mein jo tera ho
Kuch tau chahiye is raakh mein jo tere jaisa ho

Chahe ho ik junbish hi sahi
Saaya ho ya aadha toota lamha hi sahi

Ho ik lafz hawa mein udta phirta
Ya ho muskurahat kuch kheenchi, bikhri

Kuch tau hai jo tanhai mein phir boley ga
Kuch tau hai jo saath kuch nibha jaega

Kuch tau hai jo kuch kuch tau mera hai
kuch tau hai jo kuch tera par bas mera hai

Baithi hoon haath uthaye

2010-05-01T23:06:00.000+01:00

Baithi hoon haath uthaye, pankh phailaye, aankh moonde huay
Gir rahi hai baarish mujh pe, naram, garam, kirnein phodti hui
Garam hai tamazat dhoop ki, tamtamati huay chehre pe meri
Udd rahi hain boondein baarish ki manind bhap ke lipti rom rom se meri

Nahi aata mujh ko maangna so li hai sifarish dhoop ki, barish, mausam ki
Dikhae na de shayed tadap meri, bechaini, iltija, sada meri
Dekh tau pau gay lekin ilteja jalti baarish, bikhri kirnon, rauti bhap ki
Baithi hoon haath uthai, pankh phailaye, aankh moonde huay
Keh dikh jae shayed ilteja jalti baarish, bikhri kirnon, rauti bhap ki

I wish I wouldn't walk away

2010-05-01T23:05:00.000+01:00

I wish I wouldn't walk away each time
I wish I would sometimes not understand
I wish I could scream instead, cry, lament
I wish I could rage, rant and rave

I don't want to keep seeing the other side of the coin
I don't want to always know without being told
I don't want to always have the need to raise a hand and say
Oh yes, you can have this I can do without

There may be a parallel universe where I fight back
One where I lay a claim to what is mine
Instead of one where I tear open my chest
Pierce my heart with my own hands and say I dont mind

I wish I wouldn't smile when I need to cry
I wish I wouldn't say yes when I need to say no
I wish I could say I do need, I do want
I wish I could say I care more than I admit to

So I lay it bare

2010-05-01T23:03:00.000+01:00

Yes, so I do lay it all out
Bare, raw and as it pulsates and breathes
For to not to would mean a chaos inside
Destruction, annihilation
I cannot afford to let it bleed inside
I cannot afford to feel it sear
I will not let it raze me more
I will not let it tear
So I do lay it all out
While it burns, stings and as it rends
For to not to, would mean, a chaos inside
Destruction, annihilation

Le ke baithi hoon

2010-05-01T23:02:00.000+01:00

Le ke baithi hoon haath mein parwaan-e safar
Par maqsade manzil hua jaata hai dhundla is pal
Hai darr ke bepayan si lagne lagi hai manzal ki hadd
Par nahi darr ke nahi hosakta aisa ab phir
Aik haath mein thama hai parwaan-e safar
Aik haath mein thaama hai sehma hua dil
Hai darr ke bepayan na rehjae manzil ki hadd
Par nahi darr ke nahi hosakta aisa ab phir
Le ke baithi hoon haath mein parwaan-e safar

The little girl inside me

2010-05-01T23:00:00.000+01:00

Keep the light on and open up the door
You still have to live, I still need you around.
I sometimes don't see you and feel I've lost you
Even though you are stronger, far braver than I am
So keep the light on and open up the door.

Let me hear you sometimes, let me see that smile
I need it to keep mine going, I need it to survive
Stay with me awhile or as long as I have time
I know I wonder ,I wonder when I should be sure
Just keep the light on and open up the door

Skip, hop, jump up to me, fly, glide, just run to me
I need you so much more, I need you so much more
Don't hide behind the door, don't lock it no more
The walls already are, so thick and so many more
So keep the light on and open up the door

The Cry

2010-05-01T22:59:00.000+01:00

Wrenches open the heartstrings
Tugs at the ripped seams
Lays bare the furrowed wound ends
Strums long at the nerve ends

Moves me along the walkway
Keeps me within the ranks
I stay part of the rat race
I stay part of the commune

Makes the morning turn into warm afternoons
The evening shines along with the night song
My nine to five gets carried smoothly
My party style stays sharp and smooth

And all with my most painful cry
All with just a smile

Some nails and a hammer

2010-05-01T22:58:00.000+01:00

Hold that nail right in the middle, take a hammer
hit my heart and then you hit it again
And you think it wont hurt so you hit and then you hit again
And time would go on and seasons would pass
And you never fail to hit and you hit it again

The first sign of a smile and the hammer comes down hard
And you hit and then you hit it again
The first sign of some hope, some light, some delight
And you hit and then you hit it again
And you think it wont hurt so you hit and then you hit it again

The first sign of some life and the hammer comes down hard
And you hit and then you hit it again
The first sign of some pulse, some flicker and turn
And you hit and then you hit it again
And you think it wont hurt so you hit and then you hit it again

Keh kuch tha hi nahi

2010-05-01T22:56:00.000+01:00

Chuuo tau jaan nahi
Kaato tau lahu nahi
Dekho tau harkat nahi
Saath mein shirkat bhi nahi
Samjho tau hosh nahi
Poocho tau main hoon hi nahi

Kadam chal rahe hain
Aik ke baad aik
Dekho tau simmat nahi
Jaano tau himmat nahi
Roko tau rukte bhi nahi
Poocho tau uthe hi nahi

Baat ho rahi hai
Aik ke baad aik
Suno tau sar per nahi
Socho tau suragh nahi
Jaano tau kuch hai hi nahi
Poocho tau koi nikli hi nahi

Muskurahat bhi chal rahi hai
Aik ke baad aik
Dekho tau jaan nahi
Socho tau matlab bhi nahi
Jaano tau aas nahi
Poocho tau woh thi hi nahi

Waqt ja raha hai
Aik ke baad aik
Socho tau samajh mein nahi
Jaano tau bacha hi nahi
Roko tau rukta hi nahi
Poocho tau kya kabhi tha hi nahi

Where else but....

2010-05-01T22:54:00.000+01:00

There was that road that somebody had walked
Their feet creating a steepness left behind
A cliff that hung too precariously
With a sheet of freezing water that covers too well
Then there was that mountain I had slipped down
going beyond valleys and gorges unseen

That desert you know lay not that far beyond
Where the sand still flew, enveloping till eternity
Which knows how still to blind and fool all senses
But the oasis has stayed dry ever since
waiting and waiting and I wonder why
The clouds long poured out all that they had

No plains, no lushness, the greenness so evasive
The rainbow too fell ages ago
colour by colour, sinking and sinking
And left there are just the forsaken, some forlorn rocks
who know not what to do with themselves anymore
Where but in my heart, all of this but in my heart

Ab is ummar

2010-05-01T22:53:00.000+01:00

Kankaron mein khoje hain moti tamam ummar
Rait ke zarre ki manand khoee hai tamam ummar

Nikli hai beech unglion ki poroon se yaas o aas.
Behti rahi ret ke saath main bhi tamam ummar

Pohonchi sagar ki teh mein ab kismat tau shayed
Sanwarein zarre, manande moti ab is ummar

Ke ayee hai barish phir kuch is tarah se

2010-05-01T22:51:00.000+01:00

Ke ayee hai barish phir kuch is tarah se
Ruuh pe gire hain qatre
Bheega hai dil bhi phir se
Patte udey naye purane
tooteen theen jinke bojh se shakhein
Ke ayee hai barish phir kuch is tarah se
Hawa bhi khanjar sa hai thamay
Ke jaise ghao bhar se gaya ho
Ukhadte pair phir bhi kuch hain chalte
dawa bhi zeher si jaise hai samayee
Ke ayee hai barish phir kuch is tarah se
Hua hai aasman kuch ziada gehra
Hain badal bhi aur surmaee
Goonjti hai sunsanahat phir ziada
ke jaise khamoshi toot gaye ho

Ke ayee hai barish phir kuch is tarah se

It was just a tear drop

2009-11-12T13:19:00.000Z

Laughing, giggling, playing, teasing and it appears
And then falls and submerges in a placid pool
The blue waters, so serene, carry it away in such peace
Or it gets whisked off by harsh freezing winds. Where did it go?
Snowflakes blind me for a minute and its all but gone for ever.
I didnt hear it go, but do I even know its sound.
Or the harsh, dry sun, burns it off quickly on my face.
That was too soon, I barely even felt it.
Songs always see it fall quietly through the notes
seeping away hidden in crescendo, decrescendo.

Memories, yes what about them
They do make it appear
But its learnt how to go from them now too.
It wasnt easy to drag my lashes out of my heart
but one drop at a time is my rule, so no more
But what of the daily rites and the rituals
And my comings and goings and all the in between
How do I explain it between them all?
I barely notice where it goes then at times.
But I smile, And I smile, it was just a tear drop.

Na hua par na hua

2009-11-12T13:18:00.000Z

Woh gallian theen, woh raahein thi apni
Gulon mein dhaki chatt, os se atti ghas
Na hua par na hua kuch apna, na sahi
Woh subhein aateen theen dheere
Motia ki mehek, girti padti kirnein
Na hua par na hua kuch apna, na sahi
Woh dupeherein, jo lambi ummer talak na katte
Saroo ki sargoshi, amrood ki chilti shaakh
Na hua par na hua kuch apna, na sahi
Woh shaamein, dhalta sooraj , kheera aankhein
Duur talak jaati parindoon ke uunchi dorein
Na hua par na hua kuch apna, na sahi
Woh raatein, kabhi tapish aatish ki, aur moongphali
Ya phir chaand aur sargoshi hawa ki
Na hua par na hua kuch apna, na sahi

Ahista Ahista

2009-11-12T13:17:00.000Z

Mitt'ti ja rahi hai jaan tumhari, ahista ahista
Gard udd rahi hai, pair dhans rahe hain
Ruuh kheenchi bhi jachuki
Dhadhkan saakit bhi hochuki
Par kuch hai abhi baaki
Keh chalta hai waqt ahista
Keh azziatt ka kaam hain kheenchana
Keh dard ka maksad hai todna
Keh jab tak na nikle damm, ranj rehta hai
Keh jab tak na nikle jaan, soz badhta hai

Bohot hua tau aik lamha phir dejaana
Aik jhalak, aik lams, aik saaya sa dejaana
Safar hoga lamba, hai aag sa bhi ik darya
Woh jhalak saath chali tau bepayan na hoga
Woh lams thaam ke katwaiee gi mera safar
Woh saaya dhaanp ke rakhe ka har pal
Na karna der itni ke saakit ho jaye
Jaane bina phir jaan tumhari reh jaye
Na karna der itni ke bemarham reh jaye
Marhamgar si woh jaan tumhari yuunhi teher jaye

Dil ke konay mein

2009-10-18T14:14:00.000+01:00

Dil ke konay mein kya baitha hai koi chupke se
Na hai laghzish, na hai jumbish, na hi saya hai koi
Khamoshi ka intizaar karti hai par aahat uski
Dabi dabi si leher, phailti jaati hai phir uski
Kabhi dhundlake mein rok leti hai kadam
Yaklakht saya sa jaise gher leta hai koi
Dagmagati hui jaan sambhalti hai phir mushkil se
Ruuh ki kheech jaati hai badi mushkilon se phir
Ladhkharahat kyun hai, kapkapi kyun hai, jaan jaati kyun hai
Na hai laghzish, na hai jumbish, na hi saya hai koi

Ab ka sawan

2009-10-18T14:10:00.000+01:00

Aankhon ki baat duub gaye

Jahan sehraoon ka samandar tha

Ab keh aaya sawan hai

Kuch taana baana

2009-10-18T14:09:00.001+01:00

Kuch lamhon ka taana baana

Kuch saath ka udharna bunana

Ik aahat, ik saaya, ik lams, ik muskurahat

Ik harf, ik baat, ik yaad, ik khwab

Sab shab samet legi, subah roshan kardegi

Not anymore

2009-10-18T14:05:00.000+01:00

I don't need to write you a love letter anymore

Just read my face

The look in my eyes has enough emotion

The touch of my hand has enough words

The smile says it all

The kiss has it all

My scent is the same

You brought it's trail with you

My soul is the same

You had kept it with you

I don't need it from you too, you see

I just read your face

The look in your eyes is my own

The touch of your hand is my own

The pain says it all

The tone says it all

Your shadow is my own

I've carried it with mine

Your life is my own

I live it with mine

Phir bhi hosake tau aao

2009-10-18T14:02:00.000+01:00

Bohot toote huon ko judne mein thoda waqt lagta hai

Nahi aasaan, hai yeh mushkil, behad kathin, bada dobhar

bohot bikhrey hote hain kaanch, bohot katati hain unglian

bohot se ched hote hain, jo bharte ummer lagti hai

kayee raste sametne hote hain, phir unmein khadde bhi hote hain

Kahin khaiee bhi aati hai, kahin pahadh milte hain

Phir sehra umad aate hain, jhulsaane, pighlaane walay

Phir darya bhi jalte hain paas, banjar, khaakh karne walay

Phir woh dil ka safar kayee manzilon ke paar chupa hua

Na raaste kabhi mil paye, na jhalak hi dikh paye

Aik ehsaas ki dor se juda, ho jiska sira madham madham

Aik khayal se atta, jo jamma ho dehka dehka

Phir bhi hosake tau aao, agar yeh sab seh pao

Hosake tau ao, agar chah tab talak jipaye

The oblivion wont come

2009-10-18T14:00:00.000+01:00

Just one stray thought and I sink, struck down numb, cold, heavy, bedazed

While the night starts dying around me and the moon does so as well

The lights dim and the air gets heavy with a choking, heaving heart

The eyes that lost their wait, the hands that were denied the touch

The hair with its lost shadow and the voice that lays dead within

Yet today again somewhere you would be your ever luminous self

I see you holding court, I see you shining strong

The same wondrous eyes and the same deep laughter

Your words would be spreading magic, your warmth would be melting hearts

And that still is the essence, the source, the reason d'etre,

The start, the end, the before, the after and all that is between

The shadow, the reflection, the idea, the being

My pain, my rain, my joy, my rhyme.

Moments that surely will pass

2009-10-18T13:54:00.000+01:00

In the midst
Of the mundane and the usual,
The laughter and the smiles
The getting together, the loneliness
The dull, the carnival
Come moments, moments that pass
Moments that wont linger for too long
They wont lay roots, hold a bond
For they are as fleeting as the cause
As transient as the source

But moments that hold
they hold and they hold
They creep in ever so quietly
take me by surprise
They always know, how to hold
And hold and hold and hold!
But pass they will
These are moments that surely will pass
But they always know, how to hold
And they hold and they hold

And give a searing pain
Pain which doesn’t seep in
But crashes and explodes
It cuts, its going through
Its blinding, its blinding right now
And it wont let you gasp
It wont allow you to move
You shake and you freeze
Its loud and deep, so deep
Dizzy moments, taking you down
Behind that door, behind the shadow
Hurtling, falling through, straight down
And down and down and down
It will pass, it surely must pass!

Numb, a tear escapes
Nothing else moves
Live through it, breathe through it
It will pass, it surely must pass!
Just hold on, hold on still
Faded pictures, dead hearts
distant tones, silent thoughts
It will pass, it surely must pass
The tear moves on
You see it now, you see it all

You start breathing, the colours come back
There are sounds around you again
Of the mundane and the usual
The laughter and the smiles
The getting together, the loneliness
The dull, the carnival
And the moment does pass
These moments will surely pass
For they are as fleeting as the cause
As transient as the source

I wish I could write

2009-10-18T13:52:00.000+01:00

I wish I could write

Songs of joy

Cheer and Happiness

But words I have

only choose to tear

They serrate and shear

The pen can write no happy ditties

The brush can draw no flowers

All instruments are lying unstrung

All sema is staying in discord

And rainbows turn to ashes

And dewdrops into tears

The bird song is a banshee's call

The welcoming song a requiem

Note to self

2009-10-18T13:51:00.000+01:00

Dont judge me for my words

Dont measure the thoughts

Dont count the feelings

Dont weigh the moods

Dont look for a smile

Dont dig for light

Dont hunt the sadness

Dont reject the pain

For else I may explode

Which night do I speak of my love

2009-10-18T13:48:00.000+01:00