I wish I wouldn't walk away

I wish I wouldn't walk away each time
I wish I would sometimes not understand
I wish I could scream instead, cry, lament
I wish I could rage, rant and rave

I don't want to keep seeing the other side of the coin
I don't want to always know without being told
I don't want to always have the need to raise a hand and say
Oh yes, you can have this I can do without

There may be a parallel universe where I fight back
One where I lay a claim to what is mine
Instead of one where I tear open my chest
Pierce my heart with my own hands and say I dont mind

I wish I wouldn't smile when I need to cry
I wish I wouldn't say yes when I need to say no
I wish I could say I do need, I do want
I wish I could say I care more than I admit to